You are an old man
You are a woman
Who has seen me growing up
My little sister
My little burden
And I don't know where you've gone
I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Alone
I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Alone
I wish that I could hold you in my arms another time
I actually had to push your tongue back into your mouth after you died
Where I should see you there's only background
When I should hear you there's nothing there
Where I should feel you is your floating ghost, an empty stretch of air
I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Alone
I'm all alone
I'm all alone
Alone
I never meant to leave
Or I thought that I'd be back
Before any swelling of the arteries
Or opal cataract
But in your blindness you would still
Come running up to me
As I passed through that rare doorframe for the only time this week
Oh I remember, I remember you a petal in my hand
Behind the shadow of a memory
How we met each other then
I'm all alone
Alone
Alone
I'm all alone
Alone
The earliest recording I have of "Lucy" is a voice memo from June 29th, 2021. It predates the death of my dog Lucy by a couple months. It's mostly nonsense lyrics, with the original refrain: "I'm on the road". I remember liking that part a lot.
The lyrics to "Lucy" were written mostly on the day she died, sometime later that year. I remember sitting in my mom's house after we'd got back from the vet and playing guitar, and that line appeared, "You are an old man". And it made me so sad. It felt like the perfect way in. It was just weird enough.
The next recording I have is from December 22, 2021, and is a demo of the full song. It has the verse that originally followed the final chorus:
I liked the lyrics to that verse but the song had to end after the chorus so it had to be cut.
I don't recall when the trumpets appeared but I like the arrangement a lot. There's a piece I like, Kalinnikov's Symphony No. 1, and the melody from the opening / closing section of the 2nd movement pops up all the time in things I'm writing, which is what happened with the Lucy trumpets. Palo Alto by Radiohead was also a big influence. I wanted them to be absurdly loud like those guitars.
I'm pretty sure it was recorded with one large diaphram condenser mic, 18-24 inches from the 12th fret, and in a very dead room.
I probably would have preferred to keep the song more spare, but when I was writing the melody there were 2 or 3 melody lines that I couldn't choose between. The other ones ended up becoming the background vocals. The "Ah" one at "hear you there's nothing there" always reminded me of the Puff The Magic Dragon theme.
I knew since when I was first writing it that it probably wouldn't be an album track. I've always felt that it was too precious and that the chorus was way too similar to "Bulletproof" by La Roux. But it still brought me comfort to write it and I think it's probably some of the best lyrics I've ever written. The "shadow of a memory / how we met each other then" has always reminded me of an anime flashback or something.
Personnel:
Ibanez Artwood AC-240
Jupiter JTR700
Recorded at 24-bit 48khz
Unmastered Version:
